he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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