can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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