it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize