No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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