watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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