His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize