can we get nightvision for the apartment?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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