I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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