I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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