please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize