yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
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Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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