walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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