8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
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My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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