Betty ford says i'm here all night
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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