no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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