We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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