Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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