I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize