I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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