I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
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Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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