p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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