Can i not drive my cunt home
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize