my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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