who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize