Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize