his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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