Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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