I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize