I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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