Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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I think weed is turning my hair brown
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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