PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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