she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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