you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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