Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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