she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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