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eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Randomize
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