She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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