What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize