My girlfriend figured out who you are.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize