they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize