i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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