There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize