using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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