I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
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Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize