So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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