my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize