I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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