The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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