i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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