I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
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Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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